Wednesday, 01 August 2007 00:00

Chokkklit Shop 07

Listening to my girlfriends and trying to help them see the light about their relationships. Women don't know how to read men, they say one thing but their actions make us believe there is more.

Labels that women are comfortable with: talking, dating, going together, boyfriend, he's my man. Labels that guys use to describe whatever they won't call a relationship: friends with benefits, cut friends, just talking, pimpin', and kickin it'. All of these labels make the other sex uncomfortable. She is making more out of it than what's there, and he is minimizing what's really going on.

So, I'm asking a question that's probably been around forever. "Why are men so vague?" Why can't we put a label on whatever it is that's going on between us? Cause if we did, it would still mean one thing to them and something else to us (women). A label creates expectations, whether articulated or not.

I have to ask "When is it too soon to say I love you?" Women are quick to place the "L" word on the emotions they are feeling when it comes to men. Be for real, there is lust, like, passion, great sex, butterflies in your stomach, intimacy, possessiveness, attraction, devotion, and the list goes on. However, they don't all equate to love. But as soon as one my friends gives it up to a guy she likes, the next step for her seems to be love and making plans for the future.

Some men's goal is merely getting in her panties, while the woman's goal is to find a man who will commit. One of my guy friends told me that women need to engage a man between his ears, become part of his hopes, dreams and ambitions to develop a lasting relationship. That may be what it takes to keep him interested, but how long will it take? Woman can be impatient, they want to meet; date, fall in love and be married in less than 2 years. If you have been kickin it for 5 years, somethings wrong.

Think I'll stay on the sidelines and keep my comments to myself. But they need answers, so please respond.