Chokkklit Shop - July 2007

It's July, and the heat is sweltering, let's kick things off with a hot topic to go along with the summer heat. Let's talk about being creative in your relationship and keeping things hot!!!

Meaningful relationships are like any other thing in your life that is of any value. Relationships require maintenance and upkeep! Just like your car requires tune-ups, oil changes and maintenance - relationships work the same way. Your car is an investment and so is your relationship. It is vital to the life expectancy of your relationship to keep things in check. We must not forget about the upkeep and care that's needed to keep that new car smell!!!

Complacency is one of the things that I have seen kill a relationship. When you get too comfortable, you stop doing the little things that got you started in the first place. Eventually you start to take your partner for granted and that can lead to disaster. Let's get back to doing those little things that made your stomach turn flips when you saw him or her. The things that made your heart go pitter patter. The nice thing about working on a relationship, or keeping things spicy is that it doesn't require both people to start the process. If only one starts the process, the effort from that one person will change the entire dynamics, and your partner will reciprocate. Here are some tips and romantic rules to live by. Keeping these Chocolate tidbits in mind, you will never go wrong.

#1 Get back to the basics. Your appearance, how you look, your hygiene, it all matters!!! Remember when you first met? He would never, ever, see you without makeup. Or she would never see you without a fresh haircut... Get back to that! Look good for your partner. Smell good. It goes a long way! Everybody wants what's pleasing to the eye.

#2 Do the switcheroo!! Get out of the mundane routine you're in. Change things up. Couples get bored with their love lives because they don't look at things from a long term perspective. Continuing on the path of the regular routine, allows the feeling of boredom to come forth... squash it! Make it your goal to keep things hot!

#3 Make your partner Priority! The most important thing EVER!! His/Her wants and desires should be in the forefront of your mind at all times! Do this with a willingness to please and love. Both partners should tend to each other's needs and wants willingly and lovingly. Pleasing each other is what's most important.

#4 Make time for one another!! Never get too busy to spend quality time together. Intimacy, whether it be emotional or sexual is vital to a relationships outcome. A relationship requires attention daily to keep it alive. If you put in the minimum amount of work, it will be reflected in the amount of happiness, and success you receive from your relationship.

#5 Communicate. Your partner is not a mind reader. You have to be honest and be able to articulate everything. Open communication is the key to success. Keeping the lines of communication open will keep the romance, desire, and passion alive and burning bright.

#6 Write a love note. Tell him/her you love them. Write it 500 times just so they know! A simple letter to say you appreciate them. "The Curve" writes love letters to me all the time. He will put them in my purse and when I am searching for my badge to get into my building at work, I will find it and it makes me smile! It goes a long way.

#7 Be open in the boudoir. Be willing to try things you haven't before. Have your partner write down their fantasy or discuss what kind of fantasies each of you have. Be willing to explore them so that you don't fall into the same mundane routine in the bedroom.

#8 Be spontaneous!! Spontaneity brings about a certain excitement in itself. Doing things on impulse brings a certain energy to the table. Before you know it, you would have moved away from "the norm" and into another realm of intimacy.

#9 Provide safety. After the relationship has endured time, problems, and the everyday hustle and bustle that relationships encounter, it is important for your partner to know they are safe with you. Remind them that their heart is safe with you and that you can be trusted with it. One thing I can honestly say that has helped me in my relationship with "The Curve" is the fact that I completely trust him. I feel completely safe with him. I know he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.

#10 The best insurance you could give your relationship is to retain the qualities that made it strong and loving in the first place. Get back to what made your heart go pitter patter, what made sparks fly in the beginning. When these qualities are missing, a void is felt by one or both of the partners. When there are voids, by human nature, people tend to try and fill them.

Test yourself!