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You cannot channel surf on your TV without flipping to a reality show. Several of these shows are about house wives . Why is there this fascination with housewives? Some aren’t really even housewives or at least not like any I know.
These shows can be very negative, but at the same time very addictive. Almost like watching a train wreck, not a pretty picture. But you find it hard to look away.
Why is it so captivating? Are these women’s behavior and reactions to situations so different from ours? Are these women on camera bringing to light how many everyday females conduct themselves or is it over the top drama that make for good ratings?
We all play out some form of drama in our lives at one time or another. But can our drama compare with the “housewives drama”? Are these reality shows showing a true reflection of women or are they being “reality scripted” just to keep us tuned in? It seems like we have an obsession with “cat fighting” Or is it just that we are fascinated with bitchy women with their claws out, and for some, it may make us feel better about the negative things in our own relationships?
It’s hard enough for some women to separate soap operas from reality, so what is this negative “reality female” behavior really saying to young women. Especially when it seems like the more malicious and mean you act the more air time you get.
What makes drama so appealing?
Written by Terrie Lynn and NottHeads
It takes less than a minute to decide if I really want to get in it:
It starts with a glance, proceeds to a stare; I look her down, and up; from her toes to her hair. Pants or skirt, it does not matter, I’m about to get with this chitter chatter. Crude and sometime crass, but be real, I’m trying to get that…
The fury of questions start in rapid succession
- Do I want to hit that?
- What do you think she’s like in bed?
- Does she have on a ring?
- Has she noticed me yet?
- How much work is it going to take to get that?
- Is the prize worth the effort?
If at least 5 of the 6 questions, excluding the ring (go to Plan B), come back positive, then I’ll approach. What I might say, I have no set rule. I check the elements, think of something clever, and then make my move. This takes less than a minute!
Plan B- if the circumstances mean this really is not my chance to let her know how I feel, then you smile say a polite “Hello, hope you’re having a nice day” and let it marinate for a future possibility.
Written by Terrie Lynn
When drama lives or visits your house, it may be time for someone to get a new address; better yet a new attitude. Let’s start the New Year with a fresh attitude and see how long it can last.
Don’t know if you’ve noticed this from my columns and books. I write about relationships, not necessarily how to get into one or how to keep one, but how to rid yourself of relationship drama.
“DRAMA CURES”
Now, some folks it seems, have an addiction to drama, because they need the attention, they’re bored or for whatever reason. For others, they’re caught up in “generational curses”. This means one or more parent had (or still has) major relationship drama in their day-to-day lives, which they may have inherited.
When you witness a parent going through physical or emotional drama on a regular basis, your mind recognizes this as somewhat normal behavior. You become desensitized to what is dysfunctional because it’s a typical part of your environment. So in turn your relationships mimic the ones from previous generations.
On the upside, generational curses can be broken. Sometimes we recognize that our relationships are not healthy but think we don’t have the tools to stop the cycle of madness that has been ingrained into our lives.
Phrase for 2011, “Don’t underestimate your ability to change yourself, and don’t over estimate the ability to change someone else.”
Written by Terrie Lynn
Are you at the top of his Christmas list or the hohoho?
What do the intimate expect for Christmas?
Now, I really don’t want this article to sound like an exchange of sex for Christmas goods, but if you're in an intimate relationship, what should be under your Christmas tree? I know Christmas isn’t about the getting, but the giving. But are you giving a great gift from your heart and he’s giving a damn? Technically, a man only has 3 times a year to put in the additional effort, Birthday, Christmas and Valentine's Day. For most women, it isn’t so much about the gift, but the need she has to feel special…
There are some ladies who expect way too much, but on the flip side, you have a lot of ladies who accept way too little. If three times a year is too much for him to go that extra mile, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Now I’m not saying dump the dude over a Christmas gift, but step back and really look at how you are treated, not just on holidays, but all year round.
Written by Terrie Lynn
In the last few years, there has been an increase in teen pregnancy and analysts don’t know why. Every day more and more teenage girls of all races are giving birth to children. You would think with free and easy access to contraception and the abundance of information regarding AIDS statistics and other sexually transmitted diseases that teens having unprotected sex would be on the decline. But unfortunately the reality is quite contrary.
Reality is: Two-thirds of these teen moms will not graduate from high school, will receive some form of welfare assistance, and have sons who are at a greater risk of being caught up in the penal system.
BASED ON MY BOOK: WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW, YOU DON’T
Excerpt from book, page 10
“Is it possible that because society has become more sympathetic with single moms, that females have become relaxed and irresponsible? Maybe teenagers are getting real life sex mixed up with sex seen on T.V.”
Or maybe, just maybe, teen pregnancy has become parent approved! Has it become such a common sight to see a teen with a pregnant belly, that it is now socially acceptable? Do parents take in stride the fact that they are grandparents after being a parent for only 13 or 14 years? Why are our babies rushing to have babies?
Just think for a minute……….. If trying to convince a grown woman to postpone sex for 90 days goes into one ear and out the other, how are we going to convince a teenager to restrain from having sex? The thought of a woman over 25 keeping her legs closed for 3 months is like asking black folk to give up barbeque ribs for tofu. Now, let us try getting a teenager to ignore all the sexual images they’re bombarded with daily; that would be like mission impossible. Believe it or not, that busy box in your living room you have entertaining/babysitting your kids, has a huge influence on our teens.
Written by Terrie Lynn
Now from "What You Think You Know, You Don’t" book!
I dedicate this book to teen girls and their parents, or better yet, to the parent(s) of teen girls.
Dear Parent(s)
Have we thrown in the towel on our teen girls and accepted teen pregnancy as a part of our culture? If not, have you covered all bases informing your daughter about what a bad relationship is and the reality of being a teen mom?
This book is a must! Last year there were approximately 700,000 teen pregnancies. Maybe parents are in denial about their daughters having sex, forget what young love is like and the trials that young girls go through, involved in unhealthy behavior yourself and you're passing this behavior on to your daughter. Not to insult you as a parent. But sometimes we need to get back to the basics in order to gain control of our relationships.
Many times……… what you think you know, you don’t.
Sisters Stop Asking Sisters, Im A Black Man Just Ask Me
Let’s be realistic! How much does a brotha have to be able to afford to maintain a relationship with you? Now, it’s always easy for a brotha who has it going on financially to dictate what another brotha should have the funds for. But the truth is, the well-to-do brotha make up a very small fraction of society and depending on your geographic location, that portion can be minuscule. So just how “fat” should the average brotha’s wallet be? What’s the compromise?
Excerpt from book – page 12:
“Many black women are single due to economics. You have a large portion of sistahs that place a monetary value on everything. A man’s worth is determined by the amount of money he makes, how much he’s spending, and what kind of car he’s driving. This sistah has no conversation for the brother trying, even if he isn’t looking to dog her out. Little does she know, this sistah has already eliminated ninety percent of her options.”
Mr. BMW
Is economics to blame for so many single sistah’s?
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